Stores are flooded with specially designed bouquets of flowers and greeting cards. Bakeries are pushing out freshly baked and eloquently decorated desserts. News stations are talking about dinner recipes and restaurants that have three-course meal offers. Your social media time line is brewing with photos, videos, messages and the like.
And here you are, it’s Mother’s Day, and you no longer have the physical representation to celebrate anymore.
I am three years into this experience and I have to say, the fact of the loss does not get easier with time, however managing my emotion around it definitely has. I’m definitely not here to tell anyone how to manage their grief, but I will share some things that have helped me tremendously.
First, I had to accept and deal with the grief. If I felt like crying, I cried. If I felt like shouting, I shouted. If I felt like being angry, I was. But I did not stay there. I allowed the emotion to come and go, like any other moment of frustration, and I moved past it. I did not allow it to consume me.
Another huge factor that has helped me tremendously is remembering who my Mother was and what she wanted for me. She gave me tons of wisdom growing up and even now that she has passed on, I am left with all of these amazing nuggets of wisdom as her legacy.
Being strong, independent, cultured, diverse, intelligent, resourceful and having a strong ethic….all of these things are legacies that were passed on and that is what has helped me manage my emotion around not having her here. What she has instilled in me is long lasting.
Not to mention the humor. I have been laughing all day at the funny stories, sayings and experiences that we shared! And I am so grateful that I am not spending the day sulking in sorrow….because she definitely would not want that!
I said all of this to say, if you are someone who is missing your Mother today, have your moment of sadness if you need to, then celebrate!!
Cook a meal that is reminiscent of her cooking, go to her favorite restaurant, bake her favorite dessert, play music, dance, sing, laugh….understand that everything she poured into you still exists!
And that, is worth celebrating!