I have experienced this way too many times: Someone will tell me about a situation that their friend or relative is in, and go into detail about the issue and what they need to resolve it. When I ask what they did to help, the response is often: “That’s their business”.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are certain situations that we simply cannot fix or even meddle enough to figure out. Sometimes there are situations that occur in the lives of those close to us, where although we may feel we need to help, it’s just not our place. But does it make sense to totally back out?
When I was much younger, my dad would always ask me about what was going on in my life. If I mentioned something that was borderline a concern, he would be front and center asking all kinds of questions and offering ways to help. I’ll admit, this irritated me! But one thing he would always say was, “If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t say anything.”
As an adult, I have to agree with this sentiment 100%! I will use myself as example. If I am going through a rough time and clearly need some sort of guidance or advice, I would expect those close to me to offer their input and perhaps give some perspective. I am voicing my situation because I actually want some sort of guidance. To me, it’s as simple as, if I see someone headed towards danger, will I do my best to alert them, or would I turn my head and look away while they self destruct.
I decided a long time ago that the people I want in my circle are those who will actually look out for me. Those who would turn their heads and say, “She knows what she’s doing.”, “She’s a grown woman”, or “It’s not my place to say anything”….those are the people who do not have my best interest at heart and I want nothing to do with such people.
There is a biblical scripture that says, “Iron sharpens iron”. If this is true, then anyone you have in your circle should be sharpening you as you sharpen them. If they see you going astray they should at least say something, and you should exercise the same regard for them. Afterall, what are we in each other’s lives for except to be a positive influence and take each other to the next levels of excellence.
So the next time someone close to you comes to you with a situation they are dealing with, listen…advise….then wish the well in their situation. That’s the least you can do!